The Beginning of My Story

I realized this morning I have never really introduced myself through this blog, so now might be a good time to do it. Here's my story...
At the ripe old age of six weeks old I was adopted by an amazingly, loving Christian couple and raised in a tiny little town in Michigan. I never knew anything but love and understanding growing up and was constantly reminded that God is love.
My troubles began in 1998 when I met and married a man who would change my life forever. This man did not know love, only hurt. He began physically abusing me shortly after we got together. I have been asked a million times, why did you not leave him? Well, as many abused individuals say, I loved him and I don't know why.
I gave birth to my first child in 1999 and two weeks after he was born I took a head first leap into depression. No warning signs, no small steps, nothing...just a dive into a deep black hole. Of course my husband continued the abuse and I continued taking it, falling deeper and deeper into that dark abyss.
As the years came and went I gave birth to two more amazing children, but lived in constant fear of an abusive man and a depression that came and went as often as it liked. In 2005 I was diagnosed with bipolar disorder and was told it was due to PTSD. The abuse I had endured throughout the years had really done a number on my brain and so my life changed forever.
I struggled with hopelessness and next to no self esteem, I felt as though everything inside me had been destroyed and I would never be whole again. I fought daily for a marriage that was ending and I felt as though I had nothing left of myself.
On a rainy and gloomy day in September of 2010 I received a phone call that would add another huge piece to my story. My husband called and simply said, "I just filed for divorce, you can go pick up your papers at my attorney's office." My heart sunk and my mind raced with thoughts of fear, anger, sadness, and helplessness. I had spent 12 years living with a man who abused me almost daily, I had taken care of three children nearly on my own and fought for an abusive marriage I never should have been in in the first place. What was happening to me?
To make a very long story short, I survived. I survived the abuse, the marriage, and the divorce. It was anything but easy. At times I was so depressed I couldn't get out of bed, angry at what my life had become, hopeless because I felt so alone, and even suicidal at times. My marriage was over, but it was one of the biggest blessings of my life. I no longer had to endure the abuse.
Today, I am happily married to my second husband. I have full custody of my three children and am a step mom to two awesome children.