"Normal" Emotions

Many times when we have that official diagnosis of bipolar or depression people do not realize we are actually capable of displaying so called "normal" emotions. Believe it or not there are times when I get mad because someone did something stupid. Believe it or not sometimes I do get sad because something has affected me and caused sadness. Believe it or not sometimes I am happy because I am simply in a good mood.
Not every blasted emotion is a result of our mental illness! We are still human, we still feel, we do still have times of so called "normalcy". I realize our emotions can be up and down some days, but there are other days where our emotions are in balance and we are just trying to live life as every other "normal" person out there.
I had this experience tonight with my husband. Something he did made me mad. It did not make me manic, I wasn't feeling bipolar, I was feeling anger...100% "normal" anger! As I was trying to tell him why he had made me so mad he told me I was starting to get "wound up". Really? "Wound up"! Believe it or not I had all my thoughts completely together, I was simply displaying realistic anger, and I was damn proud of the way I was handling myself. I was very far from "wound up".
So next time someone with a mental illness feels angry, sad, or happy, don't jump to the conclusion that their illness is talking (or yelling in my case). Stop for a moment and consider the fact that maybe, just maybe, they are feeling an emotion that most people just understand and consider "normal".

Dysphoria Coming Soon

I sit here feeling the dysphoric mania coming on and what can I do about it? Nothing! I went five straight days without an episode. Silly me, I thought the Depakote my actually be doing the trick. I thought maybe they have finally found a medication cocktail that would put me into remission for a month, two months, maybe longer.
Well, to my disappointment I can feel the anger start to build within my body. Warning signs? Yep I feel them. Coping skills? Yep, tried them. But they fail every single time! The anger just consumes me and I end up yelling, cussing, throwing things, and just really hating life.
I have no idea what this day is going to bring, but is it any wonder why I hate to go to bed at night? I am afraid of what the morning has to bring! Am I going to wake up sad, happy, angry, discouraged, frustrtated, overwhelmed, or maybe even suicidal? Heck, I don't know...I NEVER know and it pisses me off! I don't want five days of level mood...I want SIX...is that too much to ask? AHHHHH!