Manic Rage

I hate bipolar. I hate mania. I hate depression. I hate being fine one minute and not the next. The snow won't stop, I can't go anywhere, I am tired of television, radio, painting, drawing, playing games, and eating. I have done every single thing that I am supposed to do in order to work through the mood changes today, but it is not working. I am depressed because I cannot go outside or go for a drive or visit a friend. I cannot do anything but sit inside and watch it snow.
Being depressed about this has just turned into anger and I mean anger that is worse than a raging bull! I want to scream at the top of my lungs, throw glass objects at the windows, cuss out anyone that comes into my path, drive reckelessly down a freeway in the wrong direction, beat myself in the head and beat anyone else in the head that tries to make me feel better.
This crap is real and it hurts....IT FREAKING HURTS! When all you want is to feel OK, relaxed, happy, NORMAL, but you can't. You just can't no matter how hard you try! Is this the part where I am just supposed to go to a quiet room, stuff the emotions down, and FEEL my way through the anger and depression?
I'm talking out loud. I'm pouring my heart out into this blog and all I keep thinking is how bad this sucks...it's not fair...and I'm tired of it! Give me more than a couple days of normalcy...I want weeks of it! This is ridiculous, I'm pissed off, and I'm freaking exhausted!