Mountains Out of Mole Hills

I truly hate my brain...I want a brain with a prefrontal lobe that functions correctly! One of the many problems I have is making mountains out of mole hills. I do it on a daily basis. The little things that happen to me make me go berzerk! Here is my example:
Tonight I realized I had forgotten to get my daughter's blood work done (another problem is my memory). It has already been two weeks and of course I kept forgetting. I decided tomorrow morning would be a good time to get it done, but guess what? I have lost the freaking doctor's order! Now I am just guessing that a "normal" person would simply not worry about it, call the doctor in the morning, and get another order for the blood work. WELL NOT ME...
My glorious and fabulous brain tells me the world is ending...my breathing gets labored...my heart races...every negative thought about life in general invades my mind...and eventually I start to hate who I am! Seriously? What on earth is the big deal? But to me it is a big deal and now I have to spend the remaining hours of my evening trying to rethink the negative and somehow turn it into positives...not an easy task! Guess I better get started...
But before I get started here's one more thought. Doesn't it just feel good sometimes to go a bit crazy, I am pretty sure that is because it is so much easier to go a bit crazy then to work your butt off trying to feel normal!

Simple Tasks

My houeshold needs groceries, with seven people living here you can imagine how much food we go through in a week. What do most people do? They usually pick a day and time to get their grocery shopping done for the week, they go and get the groceries...simple right? Well, not for someone who struggles with bipolar disorder. Going to get groceries can be an extremely stressful time.

I was already in town once today for my therapy appointment and I knew I needed to get groceries, however, I just could not get up the gusto to go do it. I decided to just head back into town later when I was feeling up to it and get them then. After coming home and getting a few things done around the house, and I mean a very few, I started thinking about getting groceries. Let me tell you, the thought started terrorizing me. Overwhelming feelings of anxiety and stress flooded my mind and body. The thought of driving into town, walking around a huge store with tons of people in it made me really start to feel ill mentally and physically.

I have read so many things that tell me sometimes you just have to do things you do not want to do...but how? How do you force yourself to do simply little tasks when your brain tells you there is no way you can do it? What is the magic formula to stop your brain from feeling the way it does? Do you just sit back and wait for the feelings to go away (which could be a long time) or do you push through and accomplish the task anyway?

Before I forget, I did quickly realize I forgot to take my second dose of Metadate, so I am hopeful that once it kicks in I will feel like doing what I need to get done. But if it doesn't, then what? I guess I just sit and endure the guilt of not being able to go do such a simply thing like getting groceries and try to deal with it. It is so hard though. The little things I want to do, but my brain will not cooperate with me and so I have to just feel stuck...But I must keep telling myself, this too shall pass, it will not last forever, I can do it later. If I don't take care of the little things guess what? They will turn into a massive case of bipolar episodes, and that is definitely not worth getting groceries for.